Opening Act
by dellacroche | August 13, 2008 | In Absurd Ringtones, Cellphones, Funny Ringtones, Mobile Ringtones, Music Ringtones, Ringtones, Story & Ringtone | No Comments
Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats, the show will now begin…. Introducing the man, the myth, 
the legend, the one and only Great Sabantini!!! Thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen. For my first trick ladies and gentlemen, I will perform open heart surgery with my eyes closed… For my second trick I will solve world hunger… For my third trick, I will make all the terrorist disappear! And for the finally ladies and gentlemen, I will make the deaf hear, the blind see and make a fat man regain his sense of smell! Now I know what your thinking and your right it’s very dangerous to do what am about to do, but don’t worry ladies and gentlemen. I am a trained professional. Now for my first trick I will need a volunteer?
More from Dellacroche at Ring-Dinga
hundreds. My game sucked. I was the laughing stock of the clubhouse until this point. I never finished the game that day, but as I was leaving in the ambulance I seen the fairways and greens in a whole new light, like a path was drawn out for me. The tension of my swing at ease. I new the next day which was Sunday I had to play. The weather called for showers, but it looked like it wouldn’t hit til late afternoon. I challenged Bob McCormmick the local golf pro to a heavily wagered skins game. He accepted. I have to say I was destroying Bob the first 9 holes. I was playing out of my head. No bogeys, 4 pars and 5 birdies. The next 9 one par, 2 eagles and 6 birdies. I took him for a cool 9 hundred. It was my best game and last time I ever golfed like that again. Just kidding. I actually had a dream I golfed like that. I woke up from a hospital bed from being struck by lightning. I’m paralyzed on the right half of my body. I will never golf again.
happiness, just one little bite. He pulled the trigger, but no bullet came out, safety off, gun loaded…. he had his answer. He went and filed a lawsuit against the gun shop that sold him his 6 shooter. He claimed because of the malfunction, he had to live a life of agony. Everyday waking up to the same scenario’s. Everyday seeing the same faces. This man claimed he had just cause to sue. The case went to court and he won. Now he is a millionaire that lives in Beverly Hills. He opened a school for those that don’t know what to do with their lives. They sit around and talk for hours about what they should talk about. He has a book coming out about absolutely nothing. Some say he has a best seller on his hands. I heard he is even in talks for a movie deal. I think it’s gonna be a suspense… 
I go right. My memory remembers faintly. I can’t pin my finger on it. It’s on the tip of my tongue. What was the path, the cure, the consistency. Up and down. The highs-the lows. I’m happy. I’m sad. I sleep for 12 hrs. I sleep for 2. I got a ton of cash. I have to scrounge for change. I drink until I’m sober. I laugh when I should cry. I’m in a box inside of a box. My cousin thinks I’m crazy. He tells me this from the insane asylum. I write with my left, but I’m right handed. I’m always late to my job, but early for the next day. I was born in a barn, a barn without hay. My name is John P. Seasaw.
brewing. It was the summer time and the humidity was high enough to sweat a 400 pound man to an 
